Our first question has come in!!! :) See below for this question and resolution and more to come.

I am in a relationship and it is getting serious. Will marriage be an option for me in my future?

-Melvin

Melvin boy, I am looking patiently into my great crystal ball. It was foggy at first but I see a girl, a pretty girl, with blonde hair in your future in a wedding gown. Looks like you will be spending the rest of your life with this girl. Don't be intimidated by the reading. It is all for the best. Good luck in your relationship and get back to me with the outcome. I will be interested although I know my predictions are 100% accurate. Well there you have it! Your future right in front of you. Good luck and write again! Thanks.

-Vital the Fortuneteller-

will i graduate HS

-billy bob

The Almighty Vital says if you are stupid enough to ask the question if you are going to graduate high school the magic ball says NO!! You will fail and be held back.. thanks again!

Will Doug ever kiss me?

-Patty

The Almighty sees your problem Patty. She is looking in her might crystal ball and says that Doug is chicken and for you to make the first move in order to get him to kiss you. Hope things work out! come back soon!

I don't have good luck with boys, and I was wondering if you see any potential in my future. My mom said that "Mr. Right" is just waiting, but I feel that is untrue--is there anything in my future?

-Karen

Karen, I am looking into your future right now. My crystal ball is a little blurry but sees a sort of womanly feature in the distance. I guess it isnt Mr. Right out there for you but Mrs. Right. Thanks and good luck with her!! Come back soon!

Will my leg grow back??

-Stumpy

Dearest Stumpy, the Almighty Vital is to the rescue. My magic ball sees you walking in the park with your new fake leg. Scientific studies show it can't grow back but you are making out more than good with the fake leg. I am sorry about your leg but the prediction is black and white. Thanks come again!

Vital, I need a girlfriend. We are having a huge Summer Sock Hop at my school next month, and I don't have a date. I am not sure who to ask because a lot of my girl friends already have dates. I am tall, wear tortoise shell glasses (soon to have blue contacts), and I usually wear green khacki shorts with a A&F t-shirt. My sneakers are blue and gray and I have gotten compliments on them. Please tell me which of my friends or what girl will ever be my girlfriend/date to my sock hop. Do not ignore this message because I am running out of time for a date.

-Simon

Simon, this is a tough one. The magic ball is foggy.. no wait!! I see something I see you with a pretty girl dancing happily around at the sock hop. If you have someone named Katie at your school.. she is the one!! Ask her!! Well there it is .. thanks for writing!

i have just made a web page. Do u think i may someday be able to expand it into a physiactric business? please tell me soon! I am so excited and I want to know what is in store for me in the future! Tell me oh wise one!- By the way, come to my page and share your problems!

-Dr. Laura

Dr. Laura, Greetings my friend!! I love your page on web page I work my business at. I intend to visit your place for advice. You are a very intelligent , wise woman. I see a huge expansion and I see someone laying on a green leather coach in a library type room while you are sitting at your desk surveying their problems therefore i see a huge expansion in the business for you in the future. Good luck my great intelligent friend!

i am having a problem with one of my friends, her name is Arual Elativ. i was just hoping you could predict whether or not we will remain friends. Please respond quickly!! She is so nice and she is just so caring!! I don't want to lose a friend like her!! So please, tell me what the future is between us and if she will remain mad at me!! Thank you!

-Gladais Smith

Gladias, the magic ball is foggy. It is busy. Try back later! Thanks and write again!

I Am really stinky i smell like cheese! WIll i ever get this smell off of me? HELP ME VITAL!!!!!!!!!!

-stinky girl

Stinky Gal, My magic 8 ball sees you taking a shopping spree at Bath and Body Works. This may be the solution to your problem so in turn, your smelliness will go away if you attempt to get it away by going to Bath and Body Works and having a spree. Good Luck! and thanx for writing!

-The Almighty Vital-

Oh Great Vital, my voice is terible for singing high notes, but I feel like I am destined to be a pop singer! Are my feelings correct or is there no chance for my vioce to improve and become the next Britney Spears?? What is my newest future plans?

-Diadra

Diadra, I am looking in the crystal ball for you future. Your future entails being a garbage woman. I see you on a garbage truck for life. I am sorry that you can't be Britney Spears but that's life.. right? Maybe you could teach the guys on the truck with you some songs. Well good luck and write back soon!

I have been reading your page a lot lately because I would like to be a fortune teller. I have watched them perform in movies and I think they have such a good talent- do you think I have a future as a fortune teller or do you need more information about me? Do you see anything in the crystal ball that might foreshadow my future as a beloved fortune teller. I don't even need to be rich or famous, but I know this profession would make me happy!!

-Fortunes in Florida

Fortunes in Florida, Nothing is showing up in your past in the crystal ball in fortunetelling. Maybe if you try to acieve it and make an effort your dream will come true. You don't get anything in life by sitting around. Well good luck and write again. Thanks!

I have wanted a pet for so long! Do you think my parents will let me get one? I have dreamed of having a dog like evry other guy in the world. If so, what kind of pet? PLease be specific and I hope it's a yes! Them I can show my mom that a real fortune teller thinks I am destined to have a pet after all!!! Please reply ASAP!

-Joel

Dear Joel, The crystal ball is foggy come back later!

I have a problem. Every night I have a craving for my favorite food- raw turtle eggs. I eat them allllllllllll day and alllllll night. They are soooooo good and tasty. I like the raw and goey texture. I EAT TURTLE EGGS!!!!!! Will this nasty habit continue for the rest of my life??

-Turtle egg eater from Tibet

Turtle egg eater from Tibet, YOU have major and I mean major problems. It is your doing if you eat turtle eggs the rest of my life and I dont care if you do.. no magic ball can determine it.. thanx come again!

Will I ever become a SUPERSTAR?????!!!

-Mary

Mary Katherine Gallagher, ,YOU WILL BECOME A SUPERSTAR at the end of your movie you become one.. I didnt even have to bring out the crystal ball for that one.. in fact I am watching "superstar" right now.. ok cya later!!

Almighty Vital, I seek your wisdom. My question for you and your crystal ball is this: I like to think of myself as a superstar jumper, but I don't really know if I am or not. My brother was a jumper, and I fear I will never be able to live up to him because he's so awesome. My friends tell me I should follow the buffalo, but I don't know. What does your crystal ball say about my future as a track star,and will I ever live up to my bro?

-Adrienne

Adrienne, my dear friend. I know you personally so this will help my fortunetelling. I am a fellow jumper of yours that tells you about the might strong buffalo. You are equal to your brother my crystal ball says b/c my magic crystal ball shows you performing at districts and almost making it into the finals. Therefore you already are a superstar and in the future it shows more success which will be kept secret for your sake of excitement. Work hard and you wil become a SUPERSTAAAAA!

-The Almighty Vital-

How many kids will I have?

-Molly

Molly, the Almighty Vital is now looking into your future. I see three little tots runnning around. You will have 3 children in the future. Thanks and write again!

Hi. I have a terrible problem. I think i am the "god" of track, although some people tell me that I'm not. I have really big muscles and a firm stomach. I think I am hott stuff. Do you think I am a god or is this just my imagination?? Will I stay a hot stud or become a couch potato?

-Superstar

Superstar, I know who you are from track. You are NOT hot stuff but you are a pretty good athlete. You wanted me and a fellow tracker to touch your abs.. I think NOT! You need to let some of this "I am god" crap out of your head and concentrate on succeeding in track. IN my crystal ball you will become a couch potato in about 1 year.

At the moment, Barbie and I are at a good point in our relationship. It has been going so smoothly until I joined the volleyball team. I am just so good I don't have time for anything else. What will my future hold, Barbie or volleyball?

-Ken

Ken, your future will hold A WHOLE LOT OF... volleyball.. DITCH BARBIE!!

I think i am going to turn into a fish. I swim all day and all nite and i can't be out of water.What does my furtune say for the future?

-Water Gills

You are a moron.. sure become a fish I DONT CARE!!

-Almight Vital-

Hi! Hi! Hi! I am soo excited! I just got a new car and it is a real beauty, but I am afraid if I take it out, someone will chip off the paint? Will this happen to me?

-Jumping for joy in Jacksonville

Jumping for joy,

Your car wont chip and what is the use of having a car if you dont ride in it?

Almighty Vital-

I have one woasta beefa question for you. Will I be a woasta beefa workera for the resta of my lifa? I like yelling at Mahey and kidsa. One woasta beef Tim!!

I <3 the beef

I <3 Beef, I am sorry but you will get fired for being a JERK to the kids and fondling the woasta beefa. In closing ONE WOASTA BEEFA TIMA!

WAAAAZZZZUPPPPP? I was wondering if my new movie Scary Movie will be popular. I finally got to be a GOOD guy. I even got to drink and smoke a little!! SO, will it be a hit or not?

-Screamer

Screamer, I saw your movie personally. It is a litlte preverted and you werent too good in the movie. But hey! I liked it but it iwas just a little sick.. Your movie will be a HUGE success!!!!!!!!!!! Write back again! THANx

Hi Almighty Vital,

i'm in a gang, yo..... i want to know if i will get killed this year. WRITE BACK YO

-homie g

Homie g, YOU SUCK!! YOU will get killed this year. write back soon

Hi Vital,

I have a question about my future to ask you. There's this guy I really like, but he says he doesn't want to go out with me because he doesn't want us to not be friends when we break up. Still though.... do you see us hooking up in the future?

-Hopeful

Hopeful, I see you hooking up with him in your future!! PUT THE MOVES ON HIM SISTA!!!!!!!! YOU ARE A SUPERSTAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! write back again!

help me ..... tell me what is to happen to me .. one day i went to the mall with my frinds to buy surprise claire bags and now i am obssessed... also i just got my ear piecred and now i am HOOKED i want piercings all over my face ... just liek LEAH !!! and now i want to buy everyoen shirts !!! help me am i a leah clone tell me my fate !

-leah's clone

Leah's Clone,

WAzzzzuuupppp? Well you will become a human pincushhion and embody yourself with piercings to strive to become Leah. You will have shirts with sequins and pretty soon will have tattoos once you descover Leah's tattoo in her armpit. There is nothing you could do.. you are a major FREAAKKKSHOOOW~ Thanks come again!

-The Almighty Vital

hola .... wussssssssupp almighty and great vital.. tell me oh wise one what do u see in my future ??? i really wanna work at claires count pennies and fill uo surprise bags !!!! this is my only dream !!! will it come true... please help me !!!!!!!!!!!!<3...

- ur #1 supastar

Supastarrrrrrr,

Wazzzzzupppppp??? In your future you will fill surprise bags all your life and try to sell people fuzzy pink and purple cow print slap bracelets. You will count pennies and fill the surprise bags wtih socks on the clearance rack. Well good luck becoming Leah from Claire's you SUPERSTAA YOU!!!! Thanks and come again!

-The Almighty Vital-

Why hello there. I have planned a camping trip with my family and my two best friends. Unfortch, my one best friend is the guy I am sure I am in love with! He says he is gonna catch a bear for me! Is that really gonna happen?

-Camping Tonight

Dear Camping tonight,

Your friend you are camping with.. the guy will make all kinds of roadkill by catching you one of every animal in the forest. You will do dirty stuff in the tent while your other best friend the girl watches..!!!! Thanks and come again!

-Almight Vital-

Hi Vital...I think i have this weird problem..but i don't know if this will help me...if it doesn't i will go to your trusty partners in the health, etc. departments...but here goes... You see I really like this girl her name is Asil and I finally got the guts to ask her to Homecoming...and she said yes...but my friends think i'm obsesses. Tell me...will this homecoming become a disaster...and am i really becoming obsessed with her? i know this second one might not be in ur category because you tell the future but please, i need help!

-Sirhc

Sirhc,

Well you have major problems. I heard about this before. You asked Asil to homecoming 4 months before the actual dance. That is very possesive and just wrong. You have a problem but at least you realize. You are OBSESSED with Asil and possessive of her... you wanted to ask her before anyone else could have the chance to ask her. Well you got what you wanted but all your friends think you are a psycho. You choose to not come to group outings when Asil isn't there. You are conveniently "away or caddying" but when you are punished and Asil is there you find a way. You will soon just think of Asil all the time and have no friends or anything and just think of her.. sorry .. come back again!!!

-Almighty Vital-

Hey Almighty Vital, I am not sure what I wanna be when I grow up to be a man...maybe a fireman to save da buildings, or a garbage truck driver..which will it beee?

-Johnny Boy

Johnny Boy,

You will not be either. You will fail school for both these professions and be a bum begging for money on New York City's streets.. thanks and come again!

-Almighty Vital-

will i ever become part of the cheesy cheese puff gang?

-cheesy 4 jax

Cheesy 4 jax,

I once wanted to be in the cheesy chees puff gang but my friends wouldnt let me b/c I didnt have the "natural talent'. Heck with your friends make a new clan. Me and two other friends made a cheez it clan and it is 10 times better than the jax one. I suggest making a clan of your own bc you can never satisfy the "cheesy cheese puff gang". Thanks and I feel your pain.

-Almighty Vital-

help me almighty vital .. i just bought a landfill and someone told me i was being ripped off bc it is just dirt an air ... am i getting my moneys worth or is it a waste? help !

-ripped off

Dearest Ripped off,

A smart boy, Ricky, once told me of his father's (The lawyer) wise words about landfills and that they are just dirt and air. Think about it!!! What else do you want for a landfill.. Even if you were buying a house you would buy dirt and air. You need a place for a landfill so land and air is what you have.. hey RICKY!!!! haha write back soon!

-Almighty Vital-

Howey, my parents here at me home wont buy me a comp...will I ever get one b4 I am married or not

-Lost in Lousiana

Lost in Louisiana,

Or should I say MORON!!!! You are soo dumb.. if your parents won't buy a computer how did you write this to me?? YOU are lucky you havee one you idiot!!!!! Whatever I can't believe you wrote this to me.. Your stupidity makes me sicK!!! Thanks write back again :)

-Almight Vital-

When will our new line of 'N Sync shirts come in because these girls coming in are not too thrilled with the "suck" shirts we have in now. Plus, I want to know when our cleansing kit for our piercing stand will come in so we can safely do it now. Will I get another earring or will I be just as scary as before?

-Robbie

Robbie,

There won't be any N' Sync shirts coming in. We are anti-Crombie and NSync. We will stay wtih the N' Suck theme. Kick the girls out next time. The cleansing kit for your piercing stand will never come in. Keep the grunge look. YOU WILL BE JUST AS SCARY AS BEFORE. Thanks! Come again!

-Almighty Vital-

When will the socks at Claire's be on sale?

-Nik

Nik,

NERver! Thanks come again!

-Almighty Vital-

Hi, I want to know if I will be working at Claire's my whole life, selling slap bracelets and Suprise Bags to excited teenage girls. Also, I want to know if there will be any new members of the Claire's staff soon. I like my job and all but a few more girls around 15 will make it a lot more fun!

-Leah

Leah,

You will work at Claire's your whole life you NOBODY!! Only 15 year old girls like you!! Well keep it up on selling purple and pink fuzzy slap bracelets. Pretty soon a few 15 year old girls Arual x2, Kin, Nire, and Haras will work with you. Good LUCK!!!! Thanks Come again!

-Almighty Vital-

How much money will I make tomorrow? Huh, huh?

-Money Man

Money man,

You will make NO MONEY and go broke and live on the streets of New York City you HOBO!! GO AWAY!!!!! Thanks come again :)!

-Almighty Vital-